This day in history - 30:05:888.4

On this day a royal command was sent out by King Edgar V the Vacant.  He decreed that from henceforth all new roads should be built straight and true. It was, he said, important to bring the realm kicking and screaming into the modern age.  Unfortunately, geometry was not the king’s strong point; and although the road builders of the day could indeed build beautifully straight and level roads, they were a little bit fuzzy on angles.  The first new highway built between Gurdendorf and the important rural community of Arden started construction a year later and leaped forward at a prodigious pace, only hampered by the fact that, two years later, it ended up missing its target by a hundred and fifty miles. Everyone was in agreement that it was a very fine road indeed but struggled to justify its use, as it now led to an area of the map that was just a big blank area adorned with dragons. Years later, the local populace christened it ‘the road to there and back again.’ After this total failure, and huge expense, road building reverted to the tried and tested method of following a wandering cow and building a town wherever it had a significant bowel movement. Thus the hamlet of Lump came into existence. A real turd of a place, I am told.