This day in history - 21.08.1235.4

21.08.1235.4 The famous fiasco at Royal Northwall races occurred. Northwall is a prestigious horse race that takes place each year, where the Sovereign bestows his favour on the owner of the winner of the Golden Cup. Completion for the King’s favour was so strong that widespread cheating occurred on an almost industrial scale. It culminated in the year 1235, 4th Dynasty when all the horses for the main race were juiced. Juiced, in this case, being a fairly inaccurate term. The poor animals had all manner of accelerants packed in their feed: Ginger, curry power, the spines from the deep sea panther fish, sugar, bicarbonate of soda and in some unfortunate cases, all of the above. This made the horses a tad bit upset, to put it mildly. When the starting gates opened, the maddened animals trampled the starter to death and then set about riding roughshod over the stable boys. Eventually the small grandstand had to be evacuated whilst the horses made their mad break for freedom. Jackie Sparks the tipster, known for supplying bespoke additives for the discerning gentleman was arrested and found to be in possession of several boxes of ‘Sparks Splendid Invigorators’. As punishment he was made to trial all the ‘invigorators’ personally. On a happier note, the horses evaded recapture and ended up moving west until they found wide lush pastures and absolutely no human beings.